Crush

I hate you for not knowing me
I hate you for giving me the butterflies
And making me so nervous
Don’t mind
Because this is all new to me
I don’t know how to handle myself
You got me tripping boy
Why do you do this to me?
I know you barely remember me
But I’m not gonna try and impress you
I guess I did but you wouldn’t admit
I saw you blush so hard
When I answered back to your question
I guess everyone did
I saw you looking at me and smile
But again, I guess you always do
Loving you would be so wrong
You get my heart beating like a galloping horse
It’s like you know it but you claim you don’t
So, I guess it’s all in my head
It’s a very wild place
Filled with a fear of unknown
But I trust myself
And I would do anything to have my integrity
I love myself
It’s just a crush it hurts

Poem: Faith

A beautiful day begins
And the wind in the air kisses your face
In front of the mirror
There stands an illusion

Trying to please everyone
She stands broken
And asks herself if this is worth it
Tries to put up a brave smile
When she fails everybody.

Not realising she is loosing herself
By living others life.
She can never live up to anybody’s expectations
Cause they only want to feel good by seeing her broken.

Pissed with her life one day
She decides to leave the world.
But just before doing something
She turns back to her child hood.

Thinks about the big dreams
That her little self had.
She wanted to conquer the world
When young, she never understood
Why people would be scared to live their life.
She would be confused when someone
Starts hating what they loved to do

Now that she’s all grown up.
She understands why
As a kid, parents take care of you
When we grow up, we forget
To care for ourselves.

Others opinions start being more important.

She then decides to live for herself.
Fulfill all the little dreams
That she had for herself.
But this time she does it for herself
Not to gain attention or praise
She does it for her satisfaction

She remembers her passion to help people
Cause she wants to be the person
Who she wishes was there in her life
And tell her what was right and wrong.

When she lives her life for satisfaction
She realises that anxious feelings are fading away
She no more has any fear.
The depression is gone.
She feels the power of love
Giving her the energy she never had
The smile on her face never goes away.

Sometimes we start to doubt ourselves
But in reality nothing is right or wrong.
People just made it up.
Believe in yourself
And show others why you do it.

Inspire others to be their best self.
Be inspired by what you can do.
Don’t be jealous of others.

Just take a breath and enjoy the feeling.
You might not get this chance someday.

Believe in yourself more than anyone else in this world.
You can’t hurt yourself but others will.

Never bother about what people tell you
Because you will truly not be happy
If you are always pleasing them.
People who like you will be there

A note to myself

I love you

I am proud of you
You work hard
Imma stay strong for you no matter what
Imma be there for you
I am brave

No matter how bad my situation is, I will not give up on my dreams.
No matter how bad my addiction is, I will not loose hope
I am a procrastinator and I do have setbacks, but I will not let that hold me back.
I will not give up on myself

I will not love you less if you fail.
Trust me
I am proud of you for giving your best shot.
Just breathe.
You’re in this life to enjoy each second of it.
Have faith in yourself
You’re gonna be okay